Moreno Valley College
Online Writing Lab
Directed Learning Activity
How to Write a Thesis
Resources
WRC Confirmation
Instructor on Duty:
Thesis Statements
Why Is a Thesis Statement So Important?
Good question. As we’ve stated in class, our goal as writers is to give information to our readers that is interesting and easily understood. The thesis statement is typically that one sentence that asserts the main point, and controls and structures the essay. Without a strong, thoughtful thesis, your paper might seem unfocused, weak, and not worth the reader’s time.
How Do I Write a Good Thesis Statement?
A good thesis statement will have the following characteristics:
A good thesis statement will make a claim. You need to develop an interesting perspective on a topic that you can support and defend. This perspective must be more than an observation. “America is violent” is an observation. “Americans are violent because they are fearful” posits an interesting perspective on violence in America. It gives a possible reason WHY America is violent—a reason that can be supported and defended with specific examples. You want to make sure that your claim is not too broad, and that you can successfully defend and support it in the required number of pages. “Disease has shaped human history” is an impossibly large thesis. It would be better narrowed down to a specific disease, a specific time period, and a specific way (or ways) that disease has shaped human history. “In the mid-1980s, AIDS changed people’s attitudes about dating.”
A good thesis statement will inspire (rather than quiet) other points of view on a topic. One might argue that America is violent because of its violent entertainment industry. Or because of the proliferation of guns. Or because of the disintegration of the family. No reasonable person would argue that violence in America is bad. If your thesis is positing something that no one can, or would want to argue with, then it’s not a very good thesis. Likewise, avoid thesis statements that are narrow dead-ends. “The speed-limit outside my house is 65 miles per hour.” As a writer, there is nowhere to go with this. A better thesis statement would be “The speed limit near my home should be lowered to fifty-five miles per hour for several reasons.
A good thesis will control the entire paper. Your thesis sentence determines what you are required to say in a paper, and it also determines what you cannot say. Every paragraph in your paper exists in order to support your thesis. Accordingly, if one of your paragraphs seems irrelevant to your thesis you have two choices: get rid of the paragraph, or rewrite your thesis. There is no third option! Think of your thesis statements as a contract between you and your reader. If you introduce ideas that the reader isn’t prepared for, or if you don’t develop the ideas presented in your thesis, you’ve violated the contract.
A good thesis will provide structure for your paper. A good thesis not only signals to the reader what your main point is, but how you are going to develop that main point. This can be signaled directly: “American fearfulness expresses itself in three curious ways: A, B, and C.” This tells your reader you have three main points, and that they are going to be discussed in your paper in this order. However, this kind of thesis statement may be too formulaic or too constricting for all papers. You could instead say, “Americans are fearful, and this fearfulness manifests itself in the form of violence.” The reader knows that you will then show examples of American fearfulness, and will tell how that fearfulness turns into violence. Again, your thesis statement is a contract. If you suggest a structure or a particular ordering principle and then abandon it, the reader will feel betrayed, irritated and confused.
The Thesis Statement Checklist
Does my thesis sentence attempt to answer (or at least explore) a challenging intellectual question?
Does the thesis statement address the topic given to you? Will it allow you to fully explore and discuss all aspects of the essay prompt?
Is the point I’m making one that would generate discussion, or is it one that would leave people asking, “So what?”
Is my thesis too narrow? Is it a “dead-end” statement?
Is my thesis too vague? Too general? Too broad? Should I focus on some more specific aspect of my topic?
Does my thesis indicate a direction and structure for my paper?
Is the language in my thesis vivid and clear? Is it formulaic, or is it engaging and interesting?
Sunderman, English 1A
Thesis Statement Activity
Instructions: Following are excerpts from various drafts of essay #1. In your groups, examine your assigned excerpt, and identify the thesis statement. In the space provided, write down its strengths and weaknesses, and anticipate any problems that might occur when attempting to write a draft based on the statement. (Be sure to refer back to Everyday Writer and the Thesis Statement Handout.) Suggest ways to revise the thesis statement so it is more effective.
1. Although society’s role in our identity is large, I believe that it is the parents who have ultimate control of how we become as males and females, in the early stages of life, and ourselves in the later stages. Our parents decide whether to abide by the “rules” of our society or not, and raise us accordingly. It is society’s views and pressures that are deriving our identity from its true identity, and is inversely affecting the diversity of people as a whole. This society is attempting to make all humans the same, taking away our natural differences.
2. Traditions have been set stating that girls like pink and boys like blue. Gender identity is conformed from society’s beliefs and traditions forced upon them. Within the family, the nature vs. nurture theory takes a huge role in determining how that child will grow and develop within that new society. The child will then grow their own values and morals that are generated by how they were raised in that particular atmosphere.
3. The prompt states, “…one’s ‘behavioral traits’ are generally accepted to be a result of one’s culture or environment.” I agree with this statement. Most people get their style, attitude, and behaviors from those around them, media, and society.
4. Gender identity can be described in several different ways. Some may describe it as a person’s molecular makeup, their outside appearance, or perhaps it’s just how one feels inside. Whatever one considers being the definition, there is still the factor of society and the role we as a whole, play. There are certain behaviors and dress we are supposed to abide by as men and women, while still keeping our “selves” unique. For many of us this is an easy task however, for a growing minority, this is a hard process to deal with. For others not so much.
5. Webster’s Dictionary will tell you that gender identity is, “The classification by which you define as either masculine or feminine.” What psychological or sociological factors determine whether we are man or women, masculine or feminine? The answer most likely is our American society. I will examine and explain how our gender identity is formed through our American society, what consequences gender identity has on people in our society, and finally how individual people are reacting and dealing with these consequences of their gender identity.
two choices: get rid of the paragraph, or rewrite your thesis. There is no third option! Think of your thesis statements as acontract between you and your reader. If you introduce ideasthat the reader isn’t prepared for, or if you don’t develop theideas presented in your thesis, you’ve violated the contract.
A good thesis will provide structure for your paper. A good thesis not only signals to the reader what your main point is, but how you are going to develop that main point. This can be signaled directly: “American fearfulness expresses itself in three curious ways: A, B, and C.” This tells your reader you have three main points, and that they are going to be discussed in your paper in this order. However, this kind of thesis statement may be too formulaic or too constricting for all papers. You could instead say, “Americans are fearful, and this fearfulness manifests itself in the form of violence.” The reader knows that you will then show examples of American fearfulness, and will tell how that fearfulness turns into violence. Again, your thesis statement is a contract. If you suggest a structure or a particular ordering principle and then abandon it, the reader will feel betrayed, irritated and confused.
TheThesis Statement Checklist
Does my thesis sentence attempt to answer (or at least explore) a challenging intellectual question?
Does the thesis statement address the topic given to you? Will it allow you to fully explore and discuss all aspects of the essay prompt?
Is the point I’m making one that would generate discussion, or is it one that would leave people asking, “So what?”
Is my thesis too narrow? Is it a “dead-end” statement?
Is my thesis too vague? Too general? Too broad? Should I focus on some more specific aspect of my topic?
Does my thesis indicate a direction and structure for my paper?
Is the language in my thesis vivid and clear? Is it formulaic, or is it engaging and interesting?
Thesis Statement Activity
Instructions: Following are excerpts from various drafts ofan essay. Examine each excerpt, and identify the thesis statement. In the space provided, write down its strengths and weaknesses, andanticipate any problems that might occur when attempting to write adraft based on the statement. (Be sure to refer back to the aboveguidelines) Suggest ways to revise the thesis statement so it ismore effective.
Thesis Statement Bolded
Although society’s role in our identity is large, I believe that it is the parents who have ultimate control of how we become as males and females, in the early stages of life, and ourselves in the later stages. Our parents decide whether to abide by the “rules” of our society or not, and raise us accordingly. It is society’s views and pressures that are deriving our identity from its true identity, and is inversely affecting the diversity of people as a whole. This society is attempting to make all humans the same, taking away our natural differences.
Itidentifies the sense of direction of the paper and one can have anidea of what the paper would be about.
Weaknessis that it is complex and not entirely easy to comprehend.
Traditions have been set stating that girls like pink and boys like blue. Gender identity is conformed from society’s beliefs and traditions forced upon them. Within the family, the nature vs. nurture theory takes a huge role in determining how that child will grow and develop within that new society. The child will then grow their own values and morals that are generated by how they were raised in that particular atmosphere.
Primaryweakness is that it is a dead end statement.No room is allowed forconstructive discussion.
However,the language is engaging making the thesis statement stand out.
The prompt states, “…one’s ‘behavioral traits’ are generally accepted to be a result of one’s culture or environment.” I agree with this statement. Most people get their style, attitude, and behaviors from those around them, media, and society.
However,it provides an opportunity for discussion since readers can eitheragree or disagree with the sentiments presented.
Thesisis too general and is vague making it not effective to be used inacademic writing.
Gender identity can be described in several different ways. Some may describe it as a person’s molecular makeup, their outside appearance, or perhaps it’s just how one feels inside. Whatever one considers being the definition, there is still the factor of society and the role we as a whole, play. There are certain behaviors and dress we are supposed to abide by as men and women, while still keeping our “selves” unique. For many of us this is an easy task however, for a growing minority, this is a hard process to deal with. For others not so much.
Thelanguage used in drafting the thesis is too general. Also, it doesnot give a formal direction that the paper is likely to take.
Unfortunately,it does not créate an avenue through which people can discuss aboutthe topic in detail.
5.Webster’sDictionary will tell you that gender identity is, “Theclassification by which you define as either masculine or feminine.” What psychological or sociological factors determine whether we areman or women, masculine or feminine? The answer most likely is ourAmerican society. Iwill examine and explain how our gender identity is formed throughour American society, what consequences gender identity has on peoplein our society, and finally how individual people are reacting anddealing with these consequences of their gender identity.
Thestrength of the thesis statement lies in it giving a particularstructure to the essay. Also, the language is clear and vivid makingit an effective thesis statement.
However,the thesis statement fails to elicit a discussion among the readers.One would ask the question “so what” after reading the statement.