Thepragma style of love as stated by John Alan Lee encompasses variousforms of love. These forms aim at describing the concepts thatdetermine the interpersonal relationship. He proposes an ideaentitled, “the color wheel of the theory of love,” which attemptsto explore the different ways of loving. This essay examines thecomponent of Lee’s approach based on sex life, which analyses theinterpersonal relationships.
Oneof the concepts of Lee pragma style of love is Storge. It is a typeof feeling that mostly develops and grows out of acquaintance. It isbased on similar interests shared between two people that often leadto commitment. Storge can be familial love determined by variousfactors. These include familial loyalties, responsibilities, andentitlements. The objective of the relationship for the members is tounite and pull through together during the difficult moments(Hendrick, 2008).
Mostrelationships apart from marriage have existed often linked by blood.It is because the members of the same bloodline have known eachother. The married couples who did not practice this type of lovepledge to develop and extend this form of love. In doing so, theycreate a new tie of kinship. Therefore, the family members get alongand hold everyone in good esteem with the rest of the world. Someother factors, such as trash talk ruin the reputation of the family.The concept of storge is very useful in examining the interpersonalrelationship (A, 2006). The love is never jealous, but it is quitepossessive. It does not seek love but endures it all. The sexualdesires are created after there is a declaration of the commitment.
Certainclips of movies attempt to explain such concept. One of the clips isentitled, “Make a Porno,” which is a sexy romantic sex comedyfilm. Kevin Smith headed the movie and released it in October 2008. The film involves two main characters namely, Zack Brown and MiriLinky, who were roommates. The two were friends for a long time sincefirst grade. They both secured two different low paying jobs. Whatthey earned could not settle some of their bills. Therefore, the clipcovers the period when most jobs did not guarantee good income.
Duringthe reunion party, Zack encounters a former friend who introduces himto pornography film. Since the earnings were quite good, he acceptedthe offer and convinced Miri to join him. The two were to shoot aporn film together. During the film recording, they developed aromantic feeling towards each other. The sex was not just forshooting the film it was a genuine thing. As time passed by, thefeeling developed leading them to declare their love for each other. They finally got married and started a video company from the moneythey earned following their work in the pornographic industry (E,2007).
Thestory of Zack and Miri is related to the concept of storge. Since itis a feeling that grows out of friendship, it is illustrated in theclip when the two couple became friends from their teenage. As yearspassed by, the feeling developed to a new stage, and they fell inlove and got married. They had the same interest which was based inthe film industry. They also encountered difficulties together whenthey could not settle their house bills due to the low earning atthat time. The clip is available on this linkhttps://m.youtube.com/watch? v=aYtKbVwwvA.
Anotherconcept is Eros, which means something erotic or passionate. Asexplained by Lee in the understanding of the interpersonalrelationships, it is an intense feeling that is passionate andemotional. The love creates a sexual contentment and demands to besatisfied. The partners build their sexual security by avoidingsharing their sexual intimacy with other people. Hence, the enjoymentis between the two partners only (J, 2002). The love is not based onfirst sight but rather built with chemistry and intuition.
Mostpeople perceive erotic lovers as unrealistic and full of fantasy.However, the lovers view marriage as a sense of the extension ofHoneymoon while sex as the experience. The erotic lover’s wishes toshare every moment of life together and the thought of theirseparation often lead to despair. The emotion that develops betweenthe lovers causes their bond to become stronger, and they reinforceeach other with the feeling. They develop the sense of calm andrelaxation upon it. It adds to a sense of security for the partnerswho recognize and complement each other. The concept of this loveanalyses the interpersonal relationship which begins between partnerswho were first strangers. The relationship between the strangers’remains stronger and their feelings for each other grows physicallyand emotionally as they profess love. The relationship is full ofopen-mindedness and ready involvement in sexual adventures, love, andrisks (Hendrick, 2008).
PrettyWoman is another movie clip that is related to this concept. It is aromantic comedy film directed by Garry Marshall in 1990. It featuresa lovely hooker Vivian Ward and Edward Lewis who is a wealthybusiness person. The context of the movie occurs during the classcategorization and the work in Los Angeles.
Thetwo met when Edward, who was a workaholic lost direction whentraveling around the city. He encountered Vivian, who was a hookerand asked her for direction. Vivian mistook him for a client andEdward invited her to escort him to a hotel where he paid for her.They spent the night together and enjoyed some personal moments (E,2007). As time went by, Edward trusted her and paid her more to standby him. She escorted him to every business tour and ceremonies thatEdward was invited. The feeling grew deeper and mutual. Their affaircontributed to the loss of some business contracts and friends too.Vivian developed a guilty conscience and decided to avoid Edward. Sheescaped from the hotel they were staying, but Edward searched for hereverywhere. When he found her, they declared their love and finallymarried each other.
Thestory of the two couple is connected to the concept of Eros. In thebeginning, they were strangers, and they created a passionate lovethat later led to marriage. They began physical intimacy during thefirst night of their encounter in the hotel (A, 2006). It explainshow Eros is ready for early sexual adventures. The two enjoyed moretime together, and their feelings of love for each other becomestronger with passing time. It was very passionate to the extent thatit made Vivian to leave the hookers life and lie with her newly foundpartner Edward. The link to this clip ishttps://m.youtube.com./watch?v=5ZKeAzAwSnU
Indeed,the ideas of Lee have explicitly evaluated the understanding of theinterpersonal relationship of individuals. All of these are explainedin the two clips which have mentioned two different concepts of thepragma style of love.
WorksCited A, L. J. (2006). Colours of life. An Exploration of the Ways of Loving, 25.
E, E. (2007). Genetic loading on human loving styles. Neuro Endocrinol Lett, 815-21.
Hendrick, H. C. (2008). The love Attitudes Scale: Short form. Personality and Social Psychology, 392-402.
J, F. (2002). Relationship Satisfaction: The Role of Love Styles and Attachment Styles. Current Research in Social Psychology, 293-301.