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CritiquingOthers
Critiquinganother person
Critiqueor criticism is the action of evaluating an individual in a detailedand analytic way. The person carrying out the criticism is called acritic. The critic takes part in judging the merits and faults of aperson. To criticize is not always about finding fault. However, theterm is frequently in use to imply the modest expression of anopposition counter to bias, or a dissatisfaction of something.Habitually censure embroils vigorous divergence. Nonetheless, itmight just suggest "taking sides." It may well be anexamination of the various sides of a subject. Therefore, combat isnot inevitably stringed along with it.
Manyat times, it is crystal clear when a comment is silly and needs notyour attention, but, sorting invaluable advice from the wrong isn’talways forthright. As a person, you need to consider: the source, theintentions of the person, how much they know you and the fit amidyour vision and theirs.
Critiquinganother person
Thereare two main types of criticism: constructive while the other isdestructive to the person receiving the criticism. In constructivecriticism, the critic judges a person so as to make known to themtheir mistakes and how to avoid them in the future. It is the mostacceptable form of criticism. An employer, for example, could harshlycriticize an employee when they make a mistake to remind them of thebusiness ethos and to make sure they never repeat a similar thing.1
Theother type of criticism involves people censuring others and puttingthem down for no apparent reason. The critics here do this becausethey have an ulterior motive. It is nature that every human beinglongs to feel successful and worthy one way or another. No one is toblame for the desire as it is innate. However, some people deployatrocious means to satisfy the desire. These people put others downinstead of using the conventional way and striving to succeed. Theycriticize people and devalue others so that they can feel successfuland increase their self-worth. In their point of view, when they putevery other person down, they remain solo standing they becomeworthy. There are driving factors to act in this particular manner,and they include jealousy and inferiority feelings.
People’sacquaintances can see their success and try and bring them down. Theydo this by trying to prove to them that they have achieved no successin their lives. It is not only done directly but also in the mannerof questions they ask them. For example, a successful artist mayreceive questions like “don’t you think you are wasting your timemaking those bracelets instead of doing something useful?”2The person asking this issue is obviously jealous and probably feelsempty inside, so they put the person down to steal a quick recovery.Since the critics failed at success, they move the focal point to aneasier font where they are guaranteed of success. In so doing, theyfeel themselves and improve their self-worth by draining yours. Theyare like blood sucking vampires they feed their self-worth bydraining on that of others.
Mostof these thrilling cases of criticizing people present themselves inconversations. It is a hassle to discuss anything with these peopleor around them3.Whenever you put across an opinion or idea, they are quick to jump atit finding fault. These extremely critical people are often smart andthen some. They have to get away with their claims one way oranother, so they never stop until they “win.” There are thereforesome of the reasons why critics who take part in destructivecriticism do what they do. I have discussed them as follows.
Whenthey feel like it, these critics can give the approach in a lesspessimistic manner, enhance the worth of an idea in a particularmanner at the same time encourage the person that came up with theidea. That, however, is never the case they characteristicallydecide on closing the notion in a single shot.
Oftencritics think they are realistic. These smart people desire to helpand thrash the other person to character before they get hurt. Thecritics agree they could deliver in a better manner but stronglybelieve that being modest doesn’t get the point home.
Someof the critics are unaware of that character about self. They actsurprised when anyone brushes them off as extremely critical. Tothem, it is just an intimate tête-à-tête they are taking part in4.
Somecritics remedy their character by saying that they care too much andas a result end up looking critical when they’re not. They care andthat is why they involve themselves in the first place. However, theminute they partake in the conversation, all censure is thrown in.
Manyof them know who they are as harsh critics. They consider it theirway of life and a part of their being hence they cannot changebecause it is hard. Some of them see no fault in their abrasion whileothers have put in place effort to change.
Theother class of critics redeems themselves by saying they were carriedaway by passion. In conversations like politics, everyone’s opinionought to count as long as they have an idea of the context becauseeveryone is entitled to an opinion. These critics however, view otherpeople’s opinions as trash and theirs to be the “real deal.”They are very opinionated in these matters and thus claim to havebeen overconsumed with passion and lost control.
Ofcourse one of the invaluable aspects of constructive criticism is itspower to help the person know the truth. However, some critics takeit several notches higher and come out very explicitly. Theirbluntness, they claim is nothing short of honesty hence it would beunfair were they penalized. They further justify themselves that theprimal focus ought to be on the message and not the means ofdelivery.
Manysmart people pose an insatiable need to get approval from the restthat they are indeed highly intellectual. The validation has to be acontinuous process because once for them is not enough. There are twoways of making this possible for them: long term and instantgratification. With long-term, there is a requirement from the effortput in, of real accomplishments. It is a rather tedious, long processand one with no guarantee of success, so most of them go for theshort cut. Instant gratification works by outwitting the otherperson. By proving to people why an idea that was brought forward byanother person isn’t as smart as it seems, you immediately appearsmarter than the one who came up with the idea. It is the easiest wayfor anyone to boost their ego because very little effort is employed.Once they have a taste of their first approval, they crave for areplica. Unknowingly, they get used to criticizing others and itbecomes their second nature.
Othercritics are deluded that they are simply giving feedback. Criticism,however, is very different in comparison to feedback. Criticismfocuses on what’s wrong, implies the worst about the other person,implies blame, devalues the other person, it attempts to control andis coercive. On the other hand, feedback: focuses on how to improve,is about behavior and not personality, encourages a person, itfocuses on the future, respects autonomy and is not coercive.
Criticismis a common but then again agonizing experience. Facing criticism mayperhaps activate fear, shame, or resentment, and forage into one’suncertainties concerning their self-worth or incompetence. Peoplereact towards criticism differently others can handle a horde ofcriticism with composure while others can’t take a minuscule ofreproach. It is all thanks to our brains because there are parts thatare accountable for stress dispensation and emotional regulation.Neurotic individuals are known for their high sensitivity emotionwise and susceptibility to a negative emotional state. They, forexample, take more time and committedly apply an inordinate effort toredeem control of their emotions. It must be understood that allexperiences and situations are not similar. Becoming emotionallyintelligent means understanding the delicate variations and contextso one can react sensibly and proficiently.
Aswe can’t completely do away with criticism, there are ways to dealwith it. The golden rule is never to take things personally. Often,people’s censures reveal more concerning themselves than about thevictim. These people are aggressive for the reason that they haveparticular beliefs and frameworks concerning life. One could reasonthat the critic is hell bent on them as a person, but it’s highlylikely they respond similarly towards the rest.
Also,it is encouraged that one objectifies the comments and understandsthe principal message. Critics are often considered the villainbecause people are so hung up on how they deliver instead of whatthey deliver.
Thereis a choice of taking their message as feedback. Take their messageto be their honest opinion rather than waiting for people who don’twant to tell you the truth to maintain your ties. Decide then fromthere how to treat that piece of information after assessment of thecritic. Don’t always treat them as uninvited people when they wantto voice out something.
Lookinginto the reason why the message of the critic bothers you is anotherway of dealing with criticism. In the similar manner in which criticsreflect roughly concerning their inner outlines, our uneasiness withtheir criticisms tells us a lot concerning our inner frameworks aswell.
Manypeople complain about how some of their critical allies put them downover and over. Looking into the matter, they put themselves into thatsituation. Individually, every person knows how far they can bend.For the same reason, if you can’t stomach what a particular personhas to say, never request for their opinion. Inclusive is incitementsfor sentiments, by simply speaking about the subject. Critics like todish out their thoughts uninvited, so just make sure not to mentionit in their midst.
Somecritics like to give out their sentiments voluntarily. Whenever theyare out of line or poorly done, a human beings reaction tends to beanger. Since the critic seems to be tormented to be voicing out suchsentiments, a person’s anger only proves to invite more commentsfrom them5.In the end, things never turn out well. It is therefore advised toignore such criticism or disengage from them.
Anotherencouraged approach is to treat them with passion. Many of them tendto be aggressive in the manner they are because they seldom get actsof kindness directed towards them. It may take time but, in the endthey wary of their acts of negativity towards you and startreplicating the kindness.
Whenall these means don’t get you the desired effect, the last resortis always to ignore them. Close friends especially, fall into thiscategory. It is advised that you reduce contact with the critics,limit conversations with them and hang out with other people if ingroup meetings. You could also choose to cut them off completely fromyour life if these other methods prove subtle.
Conclusion
Everybodylikes to be told they are faring well, in their individual as well astheir proficient life. Without doubt, people`s conduct isoccasionally adversely judged or disapproved by others. Criticismcould be a manner of asserting control and social power, or ofcounterbalancing rivalry. However, it can as well be a means ofputting across a complaint or speaking up for oneself, even thoughincompetently.
Criticismis often considered by many not to work. It`s difficult not to getprotective as soon as one senses criticism. Nonetheless, change isfrequently governed by how one conveys or makes out criticism.
Manyclaim there are better ways to bring about positive change in aperson. Criticism is claimed to be an absolute disappointment at theattainment of optimistic behavior change. Whatever short-termachievements are got from criticism, tend to build bitterness in theend. Criticism is said to be a failure as it stands for two thinghuman beings despise most: submission and devaluing. People hate tosubmit but tend to like cooperation. The person whose self-value isput first cooperates while a person who has devalued fights back. Ifa person wishes to change the other person, they can do so by othermeans without devaluing them.
Humanbeings react to emotional tone and not by intention. If a personwishes to give feedback but is angry or resentful, whatever theyoffer will be heard as criticism. Therefore, people are encouraged toregulate their anger before trying to give feedback. Once you havedone that, the next step is to know how to give the feedback. Theperson is encouraged to emphasize on how to improve, center onconduct they would like to see and not on the character.
Bibliography
1.Mark, Leonard S. "Perceiving the actions of other people."Ecological psychology 19, no. 2 (2007): 107-136.
2.Servaas, Michelle Nadine, Harriette Riese, Remco Jan Renken,Jan-Bernard Cornelis Marsman, Johan Lambregs, Johan Ormel, and AndréAleman. "The effect of criticism on functional brainconnectivity and associations with neuroticism." PloS one 8, no.7 (2013): e69606.
3.Bleich, David. "The subjective paradigm in science, psychology,and criticism." New Literary History 7, no. 2 (1976): 313-334.
4.Moore-Gilbert, Bart, Gareth Stanton, and Willy Maley. Postcolonialcriticism. Routledge, 2014.
1 Bleich, David. "The subjective paradigm in science, psychology, and criticism." New Literary History 7, no. 2 (1976),320
2 Mark, Leonard S. "Perceiving the actions of other people." Ecological psychology 19, no. 2 (2007),110
3 Ibid, 112
4 Moore-Gilbert, Bart, Gareth Stanton, and Willy Maley. Postcolonial criticism. Routledge, 2014,45
5 Servaas, Michelle Nadine, Harriette Riese, Remco Jan Renken, Jan-Bernard Cornelis Marsman, Johan Lambregs, Johan Ormel, and André Aleman. "The effect of criticism on functional brain connectivity and associations with neuroticism." PloS one 8, no. 7 (2013), 90