Appendix A Peer Review Feedback Form 2 essay

ENG 215 –

Criteria

+ Strengths

Comments &lt Areas for Improvement

Part 1

1. Revise, using feedback from the professor and classmates, your Persuasive Paper Part I- A Problem Exists.

The ideas flow naturally. It shows a mastery of the issue in question.

.

Some errors such as with in-text citations could result in a lower grade even if the ideas are well presented.

Part 2

2. Included a defensible, relevant thesis statement clearly in the first paragraph.

The last sentence of the first paragraph contains the writer’s argument. It takes the form of a proposal to solving traffic fatalities.

The thesis statement should not be obvious or one that everybody can agree with.

3. Explain a detailed, viable solution that supports your thesis. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.

The solution to the issue in question is well presented in the last paragraph before the conclusion.

You should have used a case study that shows how your proposed solutions have worked in a certain area.

Also, statistics of how your proposed solution has solved the issue in question could have been helpful.

4. State, explain, and support the first advantage (economic, social, political, environmental, social, equitable, ethical/moral, etc.) to your solution. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.

The first point which is the economical implications of the issue of back over and front over fatalities is well addressed.

5. State, explain, and support the second advantage (economic, social, political, environmental, social, equitable, ethical / moral, etc.) to your solution. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.

The second point which is ignorance is well explored.

6. State, explain, and support the third (and fourth if desired) advantage (economic, social, political, environment, social, equitable, ethical/moral, etc.) to your solution. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.

. The third point which is personal responsibility is well stated and supported.

7. Use effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences.

No use of transitional words and phrases. Use transitional words to link the central ideas contained in the different paragraphs. Transitional words, phrases and sentences ensure the coherence of ideas in an essay. Additionally transitional words should be used within the paragraph to link ideas.

8. Provide a concluding paragraph

/transitional paragraph that summarizes the proposed solution and its advantages.

The concluding paragraph is present and offers the way forward on the issue in question.

Avoid dedicating the entire conclusion to offering solutions. Instead, sum up the major points made in the essay too.

9. Develop a coherently structured paper with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

The paper contains an introduction, body, and conclusion

Ensures that a reader can know where one part starts and ends. For instance, it seems the introduction takes two paragraphs as a thesis statement is not easily notable.

10. Use one or more rhetorical strategies (ethos, logos, pathos) to explain advantages.

The essay contains several statistics and quotes that point to the use of ethos.

Also, the story that tells of a woman who caused the death of her child as a result of her failure to look behind her truck is an example of pathos.

The rhetorical strategies are more effective when used in strategic places. For example, statistics on the fatalities resulting from the back over and front over could have been more effective, if used as a clincher in the first paragraph.

11. Support advantage claims with at least three (3) additional quality relevant references. Use at least six (6) total for Parts 1 &amp 2.

Every paragraph contains enough sources which are well integrated in the essay. Also, every source is well explained.

In future, ensure you adhere strictly to the citation rules. For example, APA style of referencing does not require the author to include the title of the source when writing in-text citation.

12. Other

Reference page.

The sources are arranged alphabetically.

In future, ensure that you use quotation marks when writing newspaper articles in the reference page.

Remember when a Webpage does not have an author the title takes the author’s place in the reference page.