4
AReflection on Parenting Interview
AReflection on Parenting Interview
Parentingis a lifetime process that involves the provision of support andpromotion of physical, social, intellectual, and emotionaldevelopment. In my interview exercise, I selected my close friend’smother, Mrs. Chun. My interaction with Mrs. Chun for several yearshas helped me realize that she is a motivated mother, who sees herchildren as a source of strength. During the interview, Mrs. Chuninformed me that she was the last born in a family of three. Hermother treated her with love and always called her “my angel”, toemphasize the love she had for her. She was brought up in a Christianfaith where children are considered as blessings from God. Inaddition, her parents upheld the Chinese cultural values of hard workand discipline. A combination of religious, cultural values, and lovefrom her mother gave Mrs. Chun a childhood experience that every kidwould admire. These experiences made her a strong, loving, and amotivated mother that she is today.
Mrs.Chun claimed that she has many rewarding aspects of being a parent,but one of them is more important to her. Mrs. Chun feels thatchildren gave her an opportunity to avoid being a self-fish woman andlearn how to care for others. Children are tender and vulnerable tomany risks (such as diseases), which leave parents with no otheralternative, other than taking care of them. However, the reward thatone gets for being a parent comes with an equal share of challenges.For example, it is very difficult for a parent, especially a motherto balance between parenting and a career. In the case of Mrs. Chun,she stated that she had to stop pursuing her teaching career for someyears to take care of her first son, who is currently my closefriend.
Mrs.Chun held that she did not change her overall parenting style indifferent developmental stages. However, she had to adjust a fewpractices in order to help his son achieve what he was expected toaccomplish at different stages. She is an individuated parent who isable to express love, support, and involvement in issues affectingher child. For example, she gave a positive attention and affectionto her son when he was a toddler and a young child. During theelementary stage, Mrs. Chun had to support her son inacademic-related tasks, besides some activities of daily living, suchas making his bed and washing his hands. However, she had to adjusther parenting techniques when her son reached the adolescence and theyoung adult stages. Mrs. Chun confessed that it became more difficultto guide her son who was trying to make his own choices andexperiment with things. She had to give him some leeway and focus onshowing him reasons, instead of just warning him about various riskybehaviors.
Mrs.Chun claimed that she would change two things if she could have achance to parent again. She could give her son some freedom andengage her in making decisions that affect his. She believes thatengaging her son in the process of making decisions could haveempowered him to be more independent and responsible by the time hereached adolescence. Secondly, Mrs. Chun held that she could avoidpointing at the negative behaviors only, and focus more on rewardinghis son’s positive behavior. This could have helped her manage herson’s behavior through reinforcement.
AlthoughMrs. Chun was exited for being a parent, she wished that someonecould have told her that parenting requires a lot of time, whichforces parents to forego some of their dreams. Mrs. Chun held thatsuch an advice would have helped her plan in advance. She could havefinished her college education before having the first kid. Thiswould have helped Mrs. Chun pursue her career and take care of herchild at the same time.
Oneof the memorable pieces of advice that Mrs. Chun received from hermother is the significance of being a positive role model to kids.This helps parents guide their children by being good examples tothem, instead of modeling their behavior through a word of the mouth.This is because children learn more from what they see than what theyhear. From the interview, Mrs. Chun stated that she could advise thefuture parents to focus on becoming more cooperative, instead ofbeing competitive. This means that parents should involve theirchildren and explain to them why they need to engage in certainbehaviors and avoid others.
Fromthe interview, I learned that parents learn different parentingskills through different strategies, including the personalexperience and advice from older parents. It is also evident that allparents wish the best for their children, but they have to punish andwarn their kids in order to help them achieve a balanced development.Additionally, involving children in the process of making decisionsthat affect their lives is not a weakness on the parent of parents,but a way of empowering kids. Therefore, Mrs. Chun is a wonderfulparent who learned through experience and accepts the mistakes thatshe made.